So I was thinking about showcase today, and about where life may or may not take me after. Then I thought about what it is that has kept me constantly loving what I do and continually having my passion for art and performance. I honestly could not answer the question when I thought about it.
At first I thought, "IT"S FUN!" and lets be honest... IT IS! But there is something deeper lying under the surface that I couldn't quite touch.
Finally I thought about and came to this... I love to perform because I feel that a part of me is dead when I'm not. I feel that me in real life is great, but me on stage is 10 times better. I feel that i am able to express sides, emotions and parts of me that I am unable to express or show in real life. I feel that performance is a way to get out of adulthood and go back to childhood. Playing make believe and creating an objective and obstacle to get what I want, that I necessarily can't have in every day life. Performance makes me feel beautiful, it makes me feel powerful, it makes me feel in control of my own life, even if I'm not in control at all!
There are sooooo many reasons why I love doing what I do... but what influences it? I got may answer... people. People are what inspire me. Watching people, observing people, mimicking people, copying people. I can't even count how many times I've taken someone that I've seen on the street and turned them into a character I have played in a class or on a stage.
But the people that inspire me the most are my friends and family. My Mom for always pushing me to go after my dreams, my dad for telling me to not be so hard on myself and to relax once in a while to gain further knowledge of what I am doing, to my three brothers for always complimenting me even when they have heard the song for the hundredth time, and to the love of my life, Matt.
Matt tells me every day "you are amazing". You would think it would get old after four years, but it honestly hasn't. And even on the days when I'm not on my game he still tells me it over and over. Sometimes I am self conscious, insecure, or just plain scared that I won't reach my dreams or goals. And when I am he is always there to grab me by the shoulders and talk some sense into me. Without him in my life I honestly do not know where I would be. I must admit that I can be a little technically challenged so whenever I need help with anything he is there at the blink of an eye. My new website, this blog, the videos I post on youtube... he is the man behind the scenes and behind the camera. So I thought I would shed a little light on him for once, to show him that he is my spotlight. Without him I would be in the dark.
Who or what is your inspiration? I honestly would love to know!